Misanthropic Musings

In fourth grade each member of my class had a hermit crab. Mine and only mine managed to climb to the top of the Popsicle stick that had my name on it. Still in its shell, it traveled as far as it could possibly go. Is this an allegorical reference? Perhaps.

I gotta tell ya. This (the way I function day in and day out in everyday life) is not my normal modus operandus. Deep down I am still the same girl afraid to ask for permission to use the bathroom. Still, I am determined. To do what, I’m not quite sure. This weekend, I scoured Craigslist for something. Anything. I found a language exchange group, and decided to hit it up.

Let me reiterate: not my typical M.O. I am generally hesitant to meet people off the Internet. I mean, really. Its not that I think a freak awaits me at the other end of my wireless connection, but rather the awkwardness inherent in meeting people without context (besides a website). The Internet is a massive chasm that sucks individuality into its deepest crevices and reshapes it – via youtube, facebook, and my personal favorite, the white-out commentary on PerezHilton. Personalities are shed like dead skin, and with the freedom to put our thoughts out into the ether, there is no need to cower under the protective shield our “character.” The Internet has totally lost it edge. Its no longer seedy or desperate to meet people this way, especially for a wholesome intercambio/tandem/language exchange.

Not to say I am not cynical. What is a “casual conversation exchange in a relaxed atmosphere” could be a ploy for picking up naive foreign chicks. Or a scam to join a sales pyramid or something of that nature. Or, even if the other internet rovers are on the bright side of sanity, there are the just plan annoying individuals I’d rather not get to know: The socially inept. The emotionally vapid. The self-absorbed chatterboxes. Can’t forget those with intense body odor. To be stuck for two hours making small talk in a foreign language could be a wonderful learning opportunity.Or downright painful. Strangers are potential landmines. Don’t you wish you could dig a hole and crawl right in?

But...it was fine. Really. It took awhile to get a rapor going. To develop that witty banter. To know which jokes will hit home and which will hang in the air.

My anxiety and neuroses was the most interesting part of this story.