Channeling the third eye

At times it feels like my life is relegated to a narrow moving walkway, the likes of which you find in airports and subways around the world. “Foreigners, please stand on the right hand side and hold onto the guardrail for safety. All others are free to pass on the left.” Technically I am living in Istanbul, working in Istanbul, and moving through the space that is Istanbul, but when I get too close to that ephemeral “it” I bump into the clear protective glass that buffers me from the rest of the world. There is an imperceptible limit to my interaction and integration.

I hate this. I don’t like feeling as though I live life on the silent side of a soundproof wall. My gut instinct is to change it; my mind knows not where to begin. I could frequent more authentic places, find a Turkish boyfriend, learn more of the language and more about the culture. To an extent, I have done all of the above. In and of themselves, these things do not make an “authentic” experience. Its about the organic process of immersion, not checking off a Turkish to-do list. For me, this process is lacking the human interaction aspect. While I wish I had the balls (and the language skills) to approach people Jay Leno Jaywalking style (and perhaps my own camera crew and late night television show to boot), I generally am stricken with shyness and fear. I am left to my own devices to intuit other ways of finding stuff out. The following posts are the result of what happens when I put my devices to goo use.