Giving Thanks

It should come as no surprise that my celebration of Thanksgiving was nonexistent this year.

Well, I did go so far as to email myself a recipe for butternut squash soup from the New York Times. That counts for something, right?

My lack of observance is not for lack of trying. A few of my American colleagues and I debated throwing a potluck Thanksgiving dinner, but the idea was nixed when we found out that we had a mandatory professional development session after school. On Thanksgiving. Oh well. My fantasies about fresh ginger root and pureed squash dissipitated.

I've most certainly hosted my fair share of celebrations. I had an Obama party on election night, and in a few weeks I'm hosting a hybrid Hanukkah party where guests can decorate sugar cookies of the religious denomination of their choice. Without the various groups of acquaintances for each aspect of my identity (secular Jews, liberal arts educated news junkies, etc.)that I have in the States, the observance of many an important event falls on my multicultural little shoulders. I feel slightly guilty whenever I don't offer to have a party, but one person cannot take responsibility for all the potential celebrations - political, religious, national and otherwise. Especially without a dishwasher.

Back on track: it is around this time of year that the gates of hell open in Istanbul.I leave for work in near darkness and come out on the other side of sundown. The perpetual rain makes it feel like I should be writing macabre poetry in a studio apartment somewhere, rather than challenging and inspiring the leaders of tommorw.Or perhaps it has something to do with teaching Hamlet: I simply feel the time is out of joint.*

If anything, my case of the dulldrums my own fault. There is a Muslim holiday coming up the week after next and I get a week off of schoo, and it seems awfully gratuitous to give all of us special interest groups - Americans, Brits, Frenchies, Aussies, Jews, Christians, did I forget anyone? - time off for holidays we generally observe by eating massive qualities of prepackaged and ready made food. At least, during the upcoming Kurban Bayram, some people here slaughter sheep themselves. So I'm starting to sync myself with a different calendar and use different markers of time as my chronological landmarks.

Last year, I missed my touchstones of time. This year, it feels better not to even try and impose an unnatural order on the movement of time. Better not to attempt to make sub-par mashed potatoes without Fleishman's margarine or a pumpkin pie without the ready made frozen crust.**

So my Thanksgiving ended quietly, I ate ice cream and real oreos a friend had brought from the States and watched Easy Rider on Digiturk.

I was thankful for that, and I guess that's American enough for me.

* Generally, I think people who reference Shakespeare in informal literary settings such as blogs are pretentious and lame. However, as an English teacher I think I am allowed a few exemptions here and there. I promise, it will never happen again.

**Actually, I did attend a "real" holiday celebration - a Christmas bazaar at the German school here, complete with straw Santa, spiced cider, and lots of lanky Germans. It just felt totally incongruous to hear doo-wop songs and eat Bavarian pretzels among of tall, pale people speaking another language I don't understand. The pretzels were good though, and I got a chocolate Santa out of the deal.

***David Foster Wallace popularized the use of footnotes in his writing. I think its a good idea.